I believe I have made my feelings on bugs known.
For those who are new around here (or painfully dense), I hate them. I'm scared of them. I run shrieking like the little girly wimp I am when presented with even the most benign of bugs. I wish that wasn't the case, but they just freak me out. And, actually, it isn't even the bugs themselves that freak me out, its the way they move. The jittery creepy crawly sometimes hoppy movement gives me the heebie jeebies in the worst way. I can't handle it.
So anyway, this weekend I wandered into the master bathroom in order to use the facilities. I sat down and started to do my business when a grasshopper jumped OUT OF MY SHORTS.
Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not really good at stopping mid-pee. So the following scene went something like this as I was stuck to my seat:
*shriek* OMG AARON IT'S A BUG AGGGHHH *leg flail* grasshopper jumps toward my foot *SHRIEK* AAAAARON!! AAAGGGGHHHHHHHH *more desperate leg flail* *SHRIEK* *SHRIEK AGAIN* *more flailing* grasshopper jumps at me again AARON PLEASE THERE'S A GRASSHOPPER AND IT'S ATTACKING MEEEE!! *flail flail flail*
So, anyway, I finally finished peeing (longest pee of my life)(TMI, sorry) and tried to make a desperate mad dash out of the bathroom only to almost fall down when I put weight on my right foot. At some point in the flailing I must have kicked the bathtub or something, because that sucker HURT.
And that's how I maybe broke my toe over a grasshopper.
I think my life may have reached a new low.
Also, you'd think with the commotion that Aaron might have, I don't know, COME RUNNING TO SAVE HIS WIFE. Nope. When I limped out to the living room he hadn't even moved from the spot he was in when I left him a couple minutes earlier. And then when I whined about my toe and the grasshopper I got NO SYMPATHY. I think he must have skipped out on Husband 101: Killing Bugs and Making "Poor Baby" Sounds When Your Wife Gets a Boo-Boo.
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6 comments:
You're so funny and always an entertaining read. At least it gave you something fun to write about, although you would've thought of something anyways! A bug in your shorts is not cool. We have geckos that get into our house and I've tried to make treaties with them...I won't harm them if they stay outside (by our front door...why is it always the front door?) or they can be in the house if they don't let me see them...BUT they have broken our treaty many times. And I'm with you, husbands are suppose to do the killing of the bugs (and take out the trash), why is this such a hard concept!?!? I guess when dating we should've put them in a room with lots of bugs to see what their skills were like. Adam takes like 10 swats and the bugs always get away which drives me insane. Oh WELL!
Poor baby. Hope your toe isn't really broken. I think the way insects move is the worst part about them too.
I want to know how it managed to get in your shorts. Impressive. (I hope you didn't really break your toe. Ouch.)
You are a NUT! I'm sure there was some eye rolling that was going on (from Aaron) while you were on the pot (fighting for your life)!:P I'm not a bug fan either. Have you been to the Lindsey's blog lately? GO...you will DIE at what THEY found in their BEDROOM!
that shpeel about the moment it happened-in words-is CLASSIC.
Okay...that story is hilarious! Totally sounds like something I would do! My husband has learned that instead of pointing bugs out to me...he quietly kills them without alerting me to their presence....I think he likes to avoid the drama and shreiking! I had a run in with a scorpion while I was in the bathroom one time...totally feel for ya!
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