I spent all day on the couch with a cold but I was still pretty excited to hand out candy tonight (don't worry, I'm not breathing on them and I'm a diligent hand washer). Every year I get all excited about the little kids in costume and then the night progresses and I just end up kind of angry and on a soapbox. Because I am the candy police.
1. Teenagers who don't bother to actually put together a costume: No candy.
If you put some effort into your costume, I have no problem with you trick or treating into your late teens. I did it. But my high school costumes were AWESOME. I expect you to put forth the same amount of effort. You have to EARN your candy, sucker. Going as a "skater" or "basketball player" with your jersey thrown over your regular clothes doesn't cut it. Show some creativity man. Oh, and when I chastise you? Act contrite. It might get you candy.
2. Parents with bags: No candy.
Ok, what. the. crap. It's one thing to carry around a bag for your kid. It's a totally different thing to let your kid carry his/her own bag and carry a bag for yourself. We actually had a fair amount of that this year and we were flabbergasted. To you, we say A. Get a job and B. Buy your own dang candy. Oh, and C. You should be totally ashamed of yourselves.
3. Greedy grabby kids: One piece and a lecture.
Kids who go in for a fist full of candy without permission get me shrieking, "One! ONE! ONE!! Put it back!!" and then calling you selfish and greedy as you walk away.
4. Kids who don't say thank you: One piece and a "You're WELCOME!"
Kids who don't say thank you who are old enough to know better get a slightly sarcastic "You're welcome" as they walk away. Those kids reeeaally get under my skin. I am giving them FREE CANDY. It's like edible gold. I'm not asking for a song and a dance (although, I wouldn't be opposed), just a thank you! I KNOW your mama taught you better.
5. Kids who walk up and just hold out their bags: No candy.
No "trick-or-treat"? No candy. I usually prompt the smaller ones with a, "What do you say?" and just sit and stare at the older ones. It can get awkward, but they always get the point eventually. You gotta WORK for the free candy!
I'm not sure where the trick-or-treating stick up my butt came from, but I can't just let it BE. It gets stressful. Should giving out Halloween candy be stressful? I don't think so, but for some reason it's my self-appointed duty to educate the world on proper trick-or-treating etiquette.
In other news, Aaron and I took a walk around the neighborhood after the doorbell stopped ringing. We were approached by a rather tall and scary looking teenager painted up like one of the members of Kiss. He crossed the street to us with something in his hand that I was sure was a knife. Turns out it was a fun sized package of whoppers which he wordlessly offered to us. What do you even say to that?
Happy Halloween! Hope yours was full of junk food, cute kids in costume, and only a few creepy teenagers.
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7 comments:
I hear ya sista! My mom stayed at our house and handed out candy while Cole and I took the girls around. She said a parent came by with their kid and had a GARBAGE BAG...one of the big black ones!!! Okay that is beyond fired. I think it's dumb too when kids act so entitled to candy just because it's Halloween...hello!
My mom and Cole (who came home early with Kate) said that some wierd guy dressed up came to OUR door passing out candy...can we say heebie jeebies? You don't go to OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES to pass out candy...go home...and let them come to you! Automatically we threw it away...what was he thinking? Maybe it was your Gene Simmons guy!
First off, Sorry you're sick. That stinks. Second, I agree with you on ALL points of handing out candy. It sounds like you had a lot of trick or treaters though. We had our doorbell ring ONCE last night. :) We'll just say Phil gets to eat a lot of leftover candy!
You know the Phantom Ghost? You should do a Phantom Ghost's Rules for Trick-or-Treating and sneakily deliver it to all the houses in your neighborhood so THEY KNOW NOT TO BE JERKS!
Why are people so unable to grasp the idea that basic courtesy would be so appreciated?
Ya know, the unfortunate thing is that most of the rule breakers are coming from somewhere else. I know a LOT of my neighbors (very small ward boundaries) and at least recognize most of the ones I don't know from driving around and our nightly walks. For both Halloweens that we've been here, I've only recognized a handful of our trick-or-treaters. I'm not sure where all these other people are coming from!
Very entertaining post. "YOU'RE WELCOME!" was especially funny to me. And I agree - "Trick-or-Treating" should involve the actual words, not just entitled little bags being shoved towards you.
OK, don't get me started. My husband kept me up EXTREMELY last night w/ all the same complaints as well as Melodys!! He stayed home to pass out candy to people, 10% of whom were our neighbors. So, this year we bought GOOD candy for our friends and neighbors and crap for the 'others'!!
I hear ya!! I love your summary of the night...quite entertaining as usual!! Sorry you have THE COLD too! It's really getting around!
Oh, and that is so cool you dressed up as a TMNT-- I saw a couple families dressed up as them too last night. I think one family's was homemade. Did you get to see the Petersons??
Becky...I bet the TMNT you saw was my cousin! Did she have a wee baby girl? If so...that was them. :)
And thats a good idea on buying two seperate candy bags >:) bwah!
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