..if I hadn't just gone to the bathroom.
I did my business, stood up, and turned around to flush and there was a CRICKET in the TOILET on the side. Like, one little jump away from where my bum had been. I can't even describe to you the panicking and screeching that would have occurred if that cricket had decided my rear end seemed like a good destination before I stood up.
At least it wasn't a gecko. I would have run away screeching and it would have used its freaky clingy ability to just HANG ON to my backside. I would have been seriously scarred. For life.
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